White Collar: Takes the Cake
by Phoenix-cry
Summary: Merry Christmas fluffiness! Neal has a special gift for Peter but it comes with more than a few strings attached.


Merry Christmas everyone! I give you White Collar Fluff for all my wonderful readers who encourage my obsessiveness. The object that Neal gives Peter is a real thing that exists in this world because truth is always stranger than fiction. Enjoy and hugs!

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White Collar: Takes the Cake

Sitting at his desk finishing up his paperwork for the day Peter was surprised when Neal arrived in his office with a bright red and gold box about a foot square. He was mostly surprised because Neal had called him that morning professing to be deathly ill with some vague flu like diagnosis. Looking perfectly healthy and proud of himself Neal placed the decorative box on Peter's desk before taking a seat.

"What's this?"

"What else?" Neal smiled. "I got you a gift."

"Why do I get the feeling that you shouldn't have?"

"Have you always been such a Bah Humbug or have years of wearing those itchy sweaters from your mother-in-law made you this way?"

"It's the part where you lied to me about being sick that's put me in this mood."

"Trust me when I say I had very good reason for a little white Christmas lie."

"You know what I really want for Christmas, Neal? I want you to go *one* day without you having to rationalize your behavior to me."

"I'll pencil that in as a New Year's resolution."

Not looking to engage in this particular argument right now Peter just stared coldly at Neal.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Neal asked eagerly.

"Christmas isn't for another week."

"You should open this now."

"It's not alive is it?"

"No, but it is perishable…at least I assume it is." Neal furrowed his brow in sudden concern as he looked at the box. "I certainly hope it is."

Peter narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Neal but only got a bright smile in return. Putting the file that he had been working on aside Peter pulled the box closer, finding it to be fairly heavy. The top of the box had an interlocking top that when pulled open would fold the sides open as well. Peter was still trying to figure out how it worked when Neal leaned forward slightly causing Peter to look up at him.

"Before you open that I have to warn you that it's not an unconditional gift."

"What exactly are the 'conditions' that come along with it?" Peter asked warily.

"You can't ask me where I got it. Or how I got it for that matter."

"Maybe you should just keep it." Peter said pushing the decorative box back towards Neal.

"You'll regret it if I do."

Neal's tone suggested that he would be perfectly happy to keep whatever was in the box if he could later claim that he was told he could when he was caught with it. Resigning himself to the catch that came with the so called gift Peter pulled the box closer again. The box opened like a flower and revealed a small cake with a thick candied layer of red fondant frosting highlighted with silver scroll work and flowers that were accented by several hundred sparkling diamonds embedded in the sugary setting.

Peter stared at the ridiculously expensive confection in shock. The dazzlingly decorated fruitcake had been deigned by a Japanese master pastry chef to be sold at a charity event only to have it stolen the night before the auction. The unusual case had come across Peter's desk several days ago but until now there hadn't been any good leads on the theft. After recovering from suddenly finding himself with over a million dollars of dried fruit and diamonds on his desk Peter glared up at Neal.

"All the diamonds are accounted for." Neal assured.

"Where did you get this?" Peter demanded.

"Merry Christmas."

"Neal…"

"Hey, you opened the box that means you agreed to the conditions." Neal chuckled.

"It was Mozzie, wasn't it?" Peter scowled. "I'm going to kill him."

"Mozzie had nothing to do with this, you know him he wouldn't steal from a charity event."

"Alex then?"

"Can't you just appreciate the thought of the gift?" Neal asked evasively. "Doesn't that count more than where it came from?"

"Not in this case." Peter said firmly. "What were you thinking getting involved in this case without me?"

"Do you have any idea how hard you are to shop for?" Neal complained jokingly. "If you don't like your gift I can take it ba…"

"This isn't a gift, Neal, it's a stolen work of art."

"Correction, it's an anonymously returned work of art."

Peter took a breath to retort but stopped himself. Looking down at the garish red and silver cake studded with diamonds he just shook his head sadly.

"Fine." Peter sighed in defeat.

"That's the spirit." Neal beamed. "Case closed: Merry Christmas."

"So for Christmas you got me more paperwork?"

"I didn't think of that."

Peter rolled his eyes slightly before he glanced down at the unusual piece of art. The organization would be thrilled to have it returned as well as the man who had originally fronted the money for the cost of the diamonds as a way of hopefully earning twice as much in a festive and different auction event. With only one real problem with the cake Peter looked up expectantly at Neal looking for further explanation of the situation despite accepting it. When Neal didn't offer any more information Peter reached out and turned the cake around to reveal the side to Neal that had a thin slice taken out of it.

"Ah…right. That part got damaged in transit before I acquired it so I felt there was no harm in trying it." Neal admitted guiltily. "It's not every day you get a chance to taste a desert that costs more than a Lamborghini Reventon."

"Well?"

"Well what? I suppose I could fix it if you want me to, but I figured it was really getting the diamonds back that mattered."

"No, how was it?"

"Oh that. Awful, truly disgusting." Neal wrinkled his nose distastefully. "Apparently not even 1.65 million dollars can buy a good fruitcake. Fruitcake is worthless no matter what the price tag says."

"They aren't entirely worthless. El's parents sent us one last year."

"And it was good?" Neal asked doubtfully.

"I don't know about 'good' but it has been useful."

"Useful?"

"It makes an excellent doorstop."


End file.
